Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
