the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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