tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
is it fun? or sober?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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