dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize