girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
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It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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