My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
