im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
