A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
