census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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