I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
