Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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