Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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