I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
