I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
