At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
