I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize