the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize