have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I had to cum in my sink.
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