nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
