ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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