im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
