All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
