i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
