some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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