..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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