i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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