Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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