So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
