Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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