i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
