Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we made out on top of his cat.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
