I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
