Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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