My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
