No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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