I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
