i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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