Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
