Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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