Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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