i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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