Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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