I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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