I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
