erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
