We named our party play list daddy issues
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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