Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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