After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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