I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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