Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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