I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
