You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
