just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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