wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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