i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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