I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
