***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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