Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize