Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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