But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
