I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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