So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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